#5 - My awkwardness

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and those of you in between.

I haven't posted recently because a good friend of mine decided to change my password to prevent me from procrastinating, and to concentrate on some more important work. But I think she failed to realise that I also had access to Facebook and Youtube (Procrastination Heaven).

(Thanks anyway, Clara.)

SO.
Awkwardness.
Yes.
I have a feeling this may become quite a personal post. Ah, what the hell. This is going to be a personal post.

I think I would qualify as the Most Awkward Person In The World, hands down.

I'm not sure what it is. Perhaps I was born with a part of my brain missing. The part that makes you able to talk coherently. I'm terrible at talking to other humans, let alone complete strangers.
If I've known you for long enough, it's OK, I'm (kinda) comfortable, but if you put me in a room with strangers and expect me to socialise, then you've just put me in a living nightmare.
Not being much of a conversationalist, it's difficult for me to initiate any kind of talk with someone unfamiliar.

Things I do that make me awkward:

• I grin a lot. So much so that my cheek muscles hurt.
• I say mundane things, and then try too hard to be funny, and when I think of something funny to say, the moment is gone, and if I said it now, it'd be even more awkward.
• I laugh too much (at things that aren't funny) and also really loudly. Becomes an annoying honking noise. Guess it would be even more awkward if I snorted.
• I never know where to look. Not confident enough to look people in the eyes, so I look everywhere else.
• On the other hand, if I'm feeling confident enough, I stare so hard at people's eyes it makes them awkward and so they look away.
• Sometimes I finish other people's sentences. Sometimes that doesn't work. Most of the time that doesn't work.

Of course, it's worse if the person I'm talking to is absolutely beautiful or really clever. I'm easily intimidated, though I try not to show it. I stammer, or say nonsensical things that are grammatically incorrect.
Hmm. Yes, for some reason, my grammar worsens when I'm nervous.

So, uh, yeah...

That was such an awkward post.