Just kidding. Everyone was dead.
Anyway, where did we leave poor, lonely Steve?
Ah yes, he spotted a dot in the distance and was running towards it. It was difficult to make out the figure so far away. It was definitely moving closer to him, as was he to it.
He was getting tired. All those doughnuts had made him put on weight and after a hundred metres, he stopped running, wiped his brow, and put his hands to his knees, panting.
A minute later, he straightened up, and started running to the nearing dot. It was definitely human. Steve could make out the tall slim stature of the stranger in the distance and hoped that this was not a mirage.
“Hey!” shouted Steve, waving his arms. “Hey!”
As he neared the figure, he could just about see that they had long, flowing golden hair.
Oh, thank God it’s a woman, thought Steve.
Then he tripped over a dead guy, fell over and hit his head on a lamp post.
* * *
He was woken up by someone shaking his shoulder quite hard. He opened his bleary eyes to find it was the golden-haired woman.
“Hey man, wake up already!” she said, in an oddly low voice.
“It’s alright, I’m awake!”
The evening sun was too bright. Steve closed his eyes again and smiled. He’d found a gorgeous blonde.
He attempted a romantic move. (What the hell, he thought. I’m the only man on the planet. It’s not like she can pick anyone else.) “You have beautiful hair, by the way. I saw it shine in the sun, like a… like a… uh, sun.”
There was a pause.
Steve opened his eyes. He frowned.
He rubbed his eyes.
The woman not only had beautiful blonde hair, but also a beautiful blonde beard.
The blonde gave a gruff laugh. “Dude.”
“Oh my God. You’re… you’re…” Steve swore. “No homo, man. No homo.”
“Yeah, sorry, man. Looks like it’s just the two of us.”
The blonde man broke into the nearest convenience store, grabbed a couple of beers and sat back down next to Steve.
“Here’s to… uh, here’s to the human race. It was fun while it lasted.”
They clinked beer cans, sat back and watched the sun set.