I feel this is important to share with y'all. Just because they're so accurate it hurts.

So there are these amusing websites that have been going round on Tumblr. You type in your blog's name and it churns out something on the other side. My Tumblr blog name is schadenfreudig. The stuff they come up with...

What does your name mean?
36,750 people were diagnosed. 9,409 results. The result changes every day.
Hot! by @resoni
schadenfreudig's name means: 1) Has no friends. 2) A failure of a human.

You've been suddenly sucked into an RPG. What are your stats?
28,463 people were diagnosed. 330,600 results. )
Hot! RPG  by @stephieku
schadenfreudig: Lv.42 Nerd. Special trait: forever alone.


In which I make my relationship with the Internet into an allegory about an unfaithful, middle-aged, married man.


I'm back and better than ever lazier than ever.

Just when you thought, "Psht, Ali's gone. She's never coming back." I come back.
This is my procrastination place - nay, my Procrastination Palace. Yes. That sounds suitably grand.
Basically, you know when work isn't going well when you see me post crap here.

Tumblr's just too amazing. Sleek, less demanding, a lot cooler.
Basically, I'm a married man. I'd been married to Blogger since 2010, and then in less than a year, I had an affair with this hot new thang, Tumblr. Tumblr had been around. Always there. Always inviting. I always double-taked when I saw something from Tumblr. Eventually I yielded.
Blogger knows about it. You guys know about it. Nothing to be ashamed of. It's an open relationship.

When I'm really bored, I like to spice things up a bit and inevitably, Tumblr and I create new blogs. I've created two new blogs on Tumblr, besides my personal one. The two new ones (well, OK, the Russian one is going to be a year old in June; the creative writing one (haha, I know) was born only a couple of days ago) are young and I feel I must nurture them tenderly, and cradle them in my arms.

However, when Tumblr won't do it for me, I do go back to Blogger, although Blogger doesn't... function... like Tumblr. We can't have new blogs with Blogger. It just isn't that easy. Or maybe it is. The point is, is that if I were to make a new blog with Blogger, no one would give a damn. It would be an ugly-ass blog that no one would follow. I mean, you know, if you guys with your blogs represented family, you'd kind of be obliged to see my new blogs with Blogger, and you'd politely say nice things about it. With Tumblr, on the other hand, we would make beautiful baby tumblogs and complete strangers would coo over our newborns. My Russian blog has close to 640 followers now, just to demonstrate. I've been turning a few strangers' heads with our newborn as well.

Anyway, this allegory is getting a bit weird. I'm not a middle-aged man who has babies with the internet. Or am I.

Now I'll give Blogger a peck on the cheek, tell her I'm off on a business trip (when we both know that actually I'm going back to Tumblr) and I'll be back when Tumblr is on her period.