If Fatman was a superhero, he would kill people by sitting on them.
Unfortunately, none of us can cook. The most I can do is sandwiches, and that's not even cooking.
It's been takeaways, microwave meals and McDonald's all the way.
Just a little update to let you know I might die of obesity/starvation, I'm not quite sure which one yet.
Probably obesity, because it seems more fun. Jokes.
This is morbid.
Anyway, coming home from Maccy D's the other day, I remembered the television programme that was on a few days ago about the fattest people in the world. Wait, that's not the name. 'Larger than Life'. That's the one. My friend, Annie, had posted me a link and was like 'Watch it.' So I did.
I pitied them and at the same time, thought they were ridiculous. I felt a bit bad for feeling like that.
I didn't watch all of it, but there was a bit where this humungous lady says: "Ah'm worried thayt if Ah don't stawp puttin' the things in ma mouth lak Ah do, it's gonna kill me." No shit, Sherlock.
These people are termed 'super-morbidly obese'.
And the narrator's like: 'The amount of food they're eating is killing them, but if they quit altogether, they'll die', or something like that.
And there's a shot of afore-mentioned fat lady on a couch on one side of the room, and a plate of cookies on the other side. She looks longingly at them.
Now don't get me wrong, I understand, it's hard when you're as big as a mountain to start doing exercise, but how can you let yourself balloon to such proportions in the first place? That, ladies and gentlemen, I don't understand.
Surely you looked in the mirror at least once before you became bed-ridden, and thought 'Ah, look at that belly, it's growing a bit. Maybe I should go for a jog'. Surely?
So what to do about it? Well, thankfully the world has Ali, who comes up with the most ingenious and practical ideas.
- As global warming continues, the sea level will continually rise, hence more incidences of flooding will occur. We can use fat people as dams.
- Also related to rising sea levels, low-rising areas, such as Bangladesh, or the island Tuvalu, will be in danger of being submerged under water, leading to more climate change refugees. We can use fat people as islands.
- Greenpeace is against whale-hunting. Let's hunt fat people instead.
|"Thank God for fat people."|
- When the sun dies and turns into a black hole as Apocalypse comes, thank God for fat people - we can stuff them into the hole.