#20 - Conversations with my brother

Good day to you out there.

My brother was an accident. That's why my parents love me more than him.
Don't tell him, though.

Anyway, as I see his ugly face everyday, I kinda have to talk to him.

Here is a typical conversation with my brother Doug:

*Doug lets off some air*

*Ali hits Doug*

Doug: Ow! B*tch!
Me:    You're disgusting.
Doug: You are.
Me:    No, you are.
Doug: No, you are.
Me:    No, you are.
Doug: No, you are.
Me:    No, you are.
Doug: No, you are.
Me:    No, you are.

*Pause*

Doug: (whispers) No, you are.
Me:    I HEARD THAT!

*Fight ensues*

...Yeah, you get the picture. If it's not that, it'll be the classic 'I know you are, but what am I?' comeback.
OK, I'll admit, I'm not proud of this. It takes all my willpower not to answer back, even though it's the mature thing to do.

[Oh my God, I'm going to be 18 soon.]

Other times we both just rant our heads off at the same time:

Doug: OhmyGodyou'resoannoyingstopitIhateyouyoustupidb*tchjustgetlostnoonelikesyouanywayyoudouchejuststopgoingonaboutitaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrghhhhhhhhhhhh!
Me:    Whatthehellwhyareyoueventalkingjustshutthehellupyou'resodisgustingyouidiotnooneevencareswhatyousaydumbassIcan'tbelieveI'mrelatedtosucharetardjustshutupalreadyYOUWEREANACCIDENT.

...

Doug: WUT.

...

Me:    Oh ****.







And slightly off-topic, but while we're talking about Doug: a while back, when he was still a wee child, I managed to convince him he was born a girl.

Me:    ... And so they sewed someone else's on you.
Doug: Psht, obviously not.
Me:    ...Well why do you think you've got nipples then?

...

Doug: *Looks down his top* OHMYGOD.